LOST OF VIRGINITY STORY

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The bell rang once again, indicating lunch was now over as I wiped the wetness off my face using my long sleeved t-shirt. I reached down to the toilet paper dispenser pulling a piece of paper off before pressing it against my nose and blowing. I got up from the toilet seat in attempt to pull myself together and yet I felt so betrayed, so used.
The exhaustion I felt from my lack of sleep mixed in with the heart shattering events that had just occurred now left my body in shock. I felt weak as I stood there reaching for the lock with a shaky hand. It took a couple tries before I could manage to get out of the stall and into the empty bathroom. Everyone was now in class – everyone except me and I intended to keep it that way.
There was no way I was going to go back to class, at least not for the rest of the day.
A decision I was quite content with and yet it was something that I would have never considered doing just a mere week ago. I managed to make my way through the school completely unseen, the hallways were deserted and eerily quiet, the only sound coming from the classes beyond the doors.  

Within a couple seconds I was outside the front doors, down the stairs, across the parking lot and walking down the sidewalk. I turned a corner as the school disappeared out of sight, leaving all my problems behind with it.  I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket before scrolling through all three of my contacts and then clicking on my brother’s name and pressing ‘send a message.  ‘Don’t need a ride after school, I’m walking. After I was done writing the message, I pressed ‘send’ and continued walking down the street in silence.

Well, of course in silence, who else was I supposed to talk to? Myself? Yeah then they’d really have something to talk about! I have no friends, I’ve never had friends…and the first time anyone remotely my age even paid any attention to me it turned out to be some huge lie.

Okay, stop thinking about Adams!

 I could tell myself that a million times but no matter how many times I think it, say it, or wish for it, it’s not going to happen.

 He was on my mind, is on my mind and always will be on my mind.

 “Skipping school? That’s kind of unlike you.

” The deep voice rang through my ears as the image of the guy who helped me up earlier flashed in my mind.

I turned around to see a black SUV idling a couple feet away from me, a curly haired boy had his head stuck out the window looking at me.

 A cute smile was plastered to his face as he eyed me up and down.

 “Jump in.

” He said, waving his hand towards passenger’s seat.

 “I’ll give you a ride.

” “I don’t know where I’m going…” I replied, because it was true, I didn’t know where I was heading also I didn’t know him and I couldn’t just jump into anyone’s vehicle.

 I paid attention to those after school specials ‘Stranger Danger!’ “Neither do I.”

“Yah but it’s not just that.”

I folded my arms as I watched the SUV move slowly towards me, stopping.

once I was standing right beside his driver’s side door.

 “I don’t know you and I’m not just going to jump in your car just because you helped me up from my fall this afternoon.”

“OH, you mean you actually noticed me helping you up.”

He spoke sarcastically with his dangerously Sekxy voice.

“What’s that supposed to mean!” I was offended by his tone of voice, even if every time he spoke I got goose bumps.

 “I mean, I’ve gone to school with you since grade one, Jane.

 Today was the first time you have ever acknowledged my existence!” This time he sounded offended, maybe even a little upset?

I stared at him in disbelief as he began to speak again.

“…and you still don’t even recognize me.”

He shook his head and then continued.

“Just jump in Jane…I promise I don’t bite.

Plus I’m pretty sure you need a good distraction right about now.”

I was hesitant at first, yet his voice was so inviting and he was right, I did need a distraction – something to get my mind off Adams and everything else that happened at school today.

I shrugged my shoulders before walking around the SUV and jumping into the passenger’s seat.

I looked over at the boy as a smile of accomplishment appeared on his face.

“I’m trusting you.”

I said while tossing my schoolbag in the backseat.

“So don’t try murdering me because I promise I’ll come back to haunt you.” I teased.

“You…haunt me?” He chuckled, “Jane, you wouldn’t even hurt a fly.”

“And how would you know?” I folded my arms across my chest and scrunched my face up trying to look insulted though I probably looked more constipated.

The boy shifted the SUV into drive as we sped off down the road.

The further we got away from the school, the better I began to feel but still I didn’t ever want to go back.

“I already told you, I’ve known you since grade one.” His voice broke through my thoughts.

“Yah, But I’ve never even talked to you, nor do I even remember ever seeing you around.”

“No, you haven’t ever talked to me but that doesn’t mean I’ve never tried to talk to you…” I was staring at him completely dazed as he just looked out the window, not even glancing at me as he spoke.

Seriously, there is no way I’ve gone to school with this boy for so long and never noticed him.

He was breathtaking with his cute smile, charming personality, captivating looks and arousing voice.

“When…When have you tried to talk to me?” was all I could choke out.

“When?!” He laughed, “All the time, for years I’ve tried to talk to you, but it was like you never noticed me, like you tried to block everyone and everything out.

The only people in the whole school who have ever been able to get your attention were the teachers and your brother.

If anyone else tried to talk to you…it was like you never noticed…”

I shook my head, not allowing myself to believe him.

“No…” I said, “People never noticed me.

No one has ever even talked to me, they all just ignore me…” “Are you sure?” He asked, testing me.

 “Or was it you who was always ignoring other people…so focused on your books and school work that you just blocked everything else out.”

I sat there just staring at him, wondering if maybe he’s not lying, if maybe that was true.

“Here…I’ll help refresh your memory.”

He said, while pulling into a parking lot to Trophy Mart and parking.

He turned toward me obviously thinking the conversation had become too intense for driving.

“Grade one – it was lunch time, and you pulled a peanut butter and jelly sandwich out.

You stared at it in disgusted before saying, “EWWW. I hate P, B and J!” You got up from your desk all angry and I turned to you with my sandwich in my hand and said, “Here Jane…You can have my Baloney and mustard.”

But you walked right by me, like you hadn’t even noticed, went and threw your sandwich in the garbage.”

 I had no clue what he was talking about…at first, but then the memory came back to me.

 I remembered that was the day my parents had decided to try giving me a different kind of sandwich, but I hated P, B and J, at the time, I love it now.

 But anyways I remember stomping off to the garbage to throw it away, I heard a voice in the distance but I figured they were talking to someone else.

 “There were so many times I tried to talk to you Jane, there’s a few times that really stick out.” The boy continued.

“Like in grade five – you cut your finger on a piece of glass while we were outside during recess.

For some reason I always had a bunch of Band-Aids in my pockets, curtsey of my parents.

I tried to offer you one but you ran to the teacher, completely ignoring me.” 

Again the memory came to me and yet I figured the distant voice was being directed to someone else.

“Then in grade eight – I noticed you were reading a batman comic, one of my favourites from the Hush volume.

I was so surprised you read comics and that you were actually into that kind of stuff.

You were sitting on the floor beside your locker, I was standing right next to you, trying to talk but you never even glanced up at me.
I felt like I was talking to a wall.”
“Oh…” Was all I could say, I mean all these years, this boy had tried over and over to talk to me and I had never noticed.
All these years I thought people just ignored me because I was different because I didn’t fit into their groups and yet the whole time it was me who was ignoring them? “So…If I have been ignoring you all these years, then why did you keep trying to talk to me?” I asked him.
“I don’t know, I guess I just figured sooner or later you’d finally notice…and you did.”
I looked up at him with an arched eyebrow.
I never noticed, he just told me.
“Sort of…” He continued, “I mean today you actually acknowledged me when I helped you up…I think it’s because of Adams, I mean ever since you and him, you’ve seemed to finally came out of your shell.”
“Me and Jane?” I laughed, “Don’t you remember…I’m his crazy stalker.” I said with annoyance.
“No you aren’t, I thought you two were hooking up…weren’t you out all night with him last night?” My eyes bulged out, “How did you know?!” I pretty much yelled at him.
“Are you stalking me?” I felt the need to jump out of the SUV and run away…fast.
His next words left me frozen. “No…But Jane is my older brother.”